Gimpy

The fog comes on little cat feet.
It sits looking over harbor and city on silent haunches and then moves on.
~Carl Sandburg

It has been a while, and for that, I apologize. I have good news and bad. I shall start with the bad, so that my post ends on a good note.

I found out on Friday that one of my favorite teachers ever - a well-loved art teacher from middle school - died Thursday from a two year battle with cancer. He nicknamed me "Gimpy" because, well, I was always hurt. Really not much differently than now. During that time I had torn a ligament, gone to the hospital for a few days because I couldn't walk, ran into walls, cut myself, bruised myself, twisted things, became familiar with faceplants to the floor.

He was one of those way-cool teachers people loved to have - even if it was a little off-beat. Coolness is often off-beat, though. He made art fun - and he's one of the main reasons I still invest so much time into my artworks. He got mom and I both involved involunteering at the schools, though mom earlier and moreso than myself. He came to each and every one of my art competitions, and gave me guidance on how to better improve my skills. I was actually just thinking of calling him the other day, see how things were going, see if he wanted any help in the classroom while I had days off to do so and wasn't in school. You know, give back to the guy who gave me so much.

Now while only one or two of you even may have known him, it doesn't matter to me right now if those few of you who read this know or care. I need to explain, and keep it for myself. I graduated with his son, and I haven't seen him since graduation... and I'm sharply reminded of how delicate life is, and how quickly time moves us forward into the future. It was strange enough while being at Miami to think that I had graduated high school already - even stranger subbing at the high school now and not thinking that, well, I belong there. It is home, and the people are family. I could fill this blog with 'I wish'es and 'I shoulda's, but that'd only annoy you and depress the hell out of me. I wish I could have said goodbye. I wish I could have given back. I wish -

The list is endless, and it should be. Because it drives home, to me, that even when I'm having issues with my health, when I can't get the energy to drag myself out of bed, when I'm sick of being at work because I had a bad day... I can't take it for granted that the people I know are there with me. That I need to say what I feel or think or such when I think and feel it. That I need to tell people how I feel so that they always know where they stand with me. I have few enough people that I trust with everything to not give them that respect and knowledge. It's one of the reasons I always make an effort to tell both of my parents that I love them before we split ways - to sleep, to go to work, run errands. Though the likelihood of anything happening in that time is minimal - it can happen. Just over a year ago dad had a heart attack. What if he'd not survived it? There was no warning. So every night, before every trip in the car if others are home, we remind each other of the love. Because we never know.

"Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it... Success is shy - it won't come out while you're watching."
-Tennessee Williams

That was the quote from my little day-by-day calendar for the weekend. Pretty fitting given my news.

So, I've pretty much resigned myself to reapplying to grad schools again... this fall. I mean come on. Crappy economy? Check. A non-4.0 GPA in college? Check. An intent to study military history? Check. Refusing to go if I don't have a full ride? Check. Competing against a HUGE increase in people applying to graduate schools? Double check. Yeah, prospects look... erm... great. Not.

Add to this getting a letter in the mail from UC (University of Cincinnati for those certain people that don't know.) Mom throws it at me. Not good news. It's like one sheet thick. Horrible news. Nothing good comes from colleges in one sheet. Ever. I found that out last year. (I learned a lot about applying to grad schools last year. And the resultant mailers.) Instead of pitching it like I intended - why do I want to look at another rejection letter? I have enough from last year - I opened it. I didn't apply to UC last year because the application date was different than I thought it was. SO I wanted to open it and see how they phrased rejections.

Note: Places like Uni of Tennesee? They don't sugarcoat it. And aren't too kind about it.. they rather come off as the opposite. Other places like to break it to you easy. (I like these types of places. I don't feel like such a complete failure.) Other's just tell you as it is without any spin on it. "I regret to inform you.."

We all know how these letters start. All rejections start in a similar fashion. Unless it's like job searching, where they just don't respond. That's also a pretty easy way to figure out you suck.

So imagine my suprise when my one-page letter mailed to me starts out: "I am pleased-"

Wait what? Pleased!?

"-to inform you that the Department of History has voted to admit you to the M.A. program in the fall quarter of this year and to offer you a Graduate Teaching Assistantship-"

Teach! I got my teaching assistantship!

"- [....], plus a University Graduate Scholarship. Assuming satisfactory academic progress, in the second year of the MA you will also be offered a Graduate Teaching Assistantship..."

Now, I took out how much they're offering me - you can IM me if you want to know, it's better than what Louisville offered me last year for sure - but HOORAH! An assumed full ride (tuition plus fees, if I am correct) plus a stipened teaching assistantship?

If nothing else, I am going to grad school this fall. I'm waiting for all the other schools now, but I have at least a strong offer that will be hard to turn down. I can save so much money staying home and having free food, rent, and insurance. And I really don't feel safe living much closer to campus than I already do. It sure isn't Miami. But it offers me education, a job, and free tuition. And a purpose. And a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I like warm fuzzy feelings inside.

So that's that. The good, the bad, the ugly. And a bit of stuff in between.

Star Wars Quotes

Though not what I'd first intended when I made this post - I'd intended to talk about ice and snow - I decided to light on some Star Wars quotes. Why, do you ask? Well... mostly because of the one on Wookieepedia today. It cracked me up. And then I figured I'd post others that also amused me. I know, before I post this, that only one - or maybe two - people will get the quotes. Especially since they will be taken out of context and likely irrelevant for anyone who has not read the expanded universe in Star Wars. I shall put the books that the quotes were taken from if applicable (or known - I'm using wookieepedia to help me as I don't feel like typing them up myself) or some such reference. Basically, I plan to post several of the ones that make me laugh. Regardless if anyone else gets them. Becaue they make me happy. Sooo, enjoy, those of you who get the jokes!


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GM: "Jedi is your character class. You're sort of warriors with arcane abilities—"
Qui-Gon: "Like fighter/mages?"
GM: "—fighting for justice."
Obi-Wan: "Ah, paladins."
GM: "No. You draw upon the power of the Force—"
Qui-Gon: "The Force?"
GM: "The Force is an energy field—"
Obi-Wan: "Energy? But energy is force times distance."
Qui-Gon: "And 'power of the force' would be distance times the derivative with respect to time."
GM: "You're monks."
Qui-Gon: "Got it."
Obi-Wan: "But monks can't wield—"
Qui-Gon: "Shut up. He'll take away our laser swords!"
―Star Wars gaming session role-played in Darths & Droids


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Wedge: "Commander Wedge Antilles and Wraith Squadron reporting for duty, sir."
Han: "Welcome aboard Mon Remonda. Let's get the rest of your pilots in...so I can get out of this torture suit."
Wedge: "But, sir, I was just going to say how smart you looked in your uniform. I think we ought to stay here, in uniform, a couple of hours so the holographers can capture the image. You know, for the historians."
Han: "Wedge, I think I'm going to have you killed."
Wedge: "Yes, sir. I trust you'll wear your dress uniform for an event like that."
Han: "You know, I'd be the laughing stock of the New Republic if I ever brought up one of my officers on charges of insubordination."
Wedge: "Yes, sir, I was sort of counting on that."
― X-Wing: Iron Fist


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"Blackmoon Eleven, what did you think you were doing going after an entire squadron?"
"My job."
"That's 'My job, sir.'"
"My job, sir."
"Son, if you develop piloting skills in proportion to your nerve, someday they'll call you the greatest pilot of all time.... Blackmoon Eleven, are you still there?"
―Gavin Darklighter and (unbeknownst to Gavin) Wedge Antilles, Enemy Lines II: Rebel Stand


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Celchu: "I've been reviewing engineering records and damage statistics."
Janson: "While we've been maneuvering?"
Celchu: "Restraining myself so you could keep up with me left me plenty of time for intellectual pursuits. I also composed a symphony and drafted a plan to bring peace to the galaxy. Anyway, without shields, these things come apart under any missile hit. But they're structurally tough, more so than X-wings, so they hang together after taking more collateral damage or laser hits. I'd like to see how much maneuverability they lose with a set of shields, hyperdrive, maybe a gunner's seat installed. If it's not too great a loss, we may have a viable fighter-bomber here, something useful in fleet actions against capital ships."
- X-Wing: Starfighters of Adumar

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Darklighter: "Is there a problem here, Private?"
Trooper: "Sir, I tried to stop them, sir, but they said it would be okay to enter your office. They said you wouldn't mind."
Darklighter: "Did they? And did they say who they were?"
Trooper: "Just some old guys, sir."
Darklighter: "And you let them in there? Why didn't you stop them?"
Trooper: "I tried, but they took my blaster away from me."
Darklighter: "And your comlink?"
Trooper: "They took that, too. They told me to wait here for you, otherwise I'd be guilty of abandoning a post, sir."
*****
Darklighter: "He described you as 'two old guys.'"
Antilles: "No respect among the young anymore, is there, Tycho?"
Celchu: "None, Wedge, none at all. Probably the fault of the command staff."
Darklighter: "What are you two doing here?"
Antilles: "We heard from various sources that you're going to be going to war." We're too old to fly, but not to help out. You need us, you've got us."
Darklighter: "You may want to reconsider that offer. This isn't going to be pretty at all."
Celchu: "War never is, Gavin. Let's just hope, together, we can make it very short."
- Dark Tide I : Onslaught

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Wedge: "A noble of Cartann comes to you and says, 'I know we have no diplomatic relations yet, but I'm here to request asylum in the New Republic.' What do you say?"
Wes: "Is she good-looking?"
- X-Wing: Starfighters of Adumar

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Wes: "Diplomacy means saying something soothing as you squeeze the trigger, right?"
- X-Wing : Starfighters of Adumar

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"They're just... different. Hand them an ordinary set of instructions and they'll carry them out in an ordinary fashion. Hand them an objective without instructions and they accomplish it some strange way. Like that whole fake Millennium Falcon ploy, and what Piggy was doing, and the data they got off Commenor's planetary computer net. I'm having a hard time anticipating them."
―Wedge Antilles to Wes Janson, X-Wing: Wraith Squadron

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"Pirates," Piggy said, interrupting. The Gamorrean settled into a stuffed chair situated between Janson's sofa and the bar, near Donos and Castin.

"Pirates to you, too," Phanan said. "Is that a new greeting? Something Gamorrean? 'Scabrous pirates to you this morning.' "

" 'And bleeding pirates to you.' " Face gave his wingman a formal bow.

- X-Wing series

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Wes: "Sure. It's simple. You're dead. I'm not. Let me demonstrate." He stood up on his bed, then began bouncing up and down. "Did you ever do this as a kid?"
Myn: "Of course."
Wes: "Did you ever do it as a grown-up?"
Myn: "Of course not."
Wes: "You say 'of course' a lot, and it's always wrong. Tell me, Myn. How do I look?"
Myn: "Well, stupid."
Wes: "Exactly! When was the last time you looked stupid?"
Myn: "I don't know."
Wes: "Try to understand this. I'll say it slowly. I want you to remember it for the rest of your life. You can't look dignified when you're having fun."
- X-wing: Solo Command

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Wedge: "Sithspit! What's that?"
Wes: "That's the sun, Wedge. It's after dawn."
Wedge: "Well, it offends me. Turn it off."
Wes: "It's a hundred thirty, hundred forty million klicks from here."
Wedge:"Go up in your X-wing and shoot it down for me."
- X-wing: Starfighters of Adumar