Rest in Peace

I am just posting to let you all know that my uncle passed away this morning from pancreatic cancer.  He was in excruciating pain all night long, so while it hurts that he is gone, he is no longer in pain.

Below is what my aunt posted on the caring bridge site today:

     Gary's journey here is over. He went into the arms of his gaurdian angels earlier today. I want to again thank everyone for the unrelenting prauers and thoughts for our family. Please continue them as we go this difficult time.
     Tentatively the plans are to have visitation on Tuesday at Heady at Resthaven (Bardstown Road in Fern Creek) and the funeral service Wednesday at St Bernard Catholic Church in Highview. I will give more details later.
     Again thanks so much and if you love someone, tell them today.
     God Bless you all.
Linda 




If you need me over the next several days, you'll need to call me on my cell phone, and likely leave me a message.  I'll then call you back when I see I had a call or I'm able to talk.

Doors and Floors

So I walked into the library today.  Bleh.  I dislike libraries, esp the local ones.  Well, the inner door was propped open, like it usually is, so I walked through it.  Until it realized it was an automatic handicapped door, and decided to close on me as I walked in.  Hit me square in the side of the head and down my side.  My head is STILL throbbing.

Stupid doors.

Only I...

... could get another bout of poison oak to my feet in the beginning of March, and by wearing an old pair of shoes.  This, my dear friends, is talent.  Much like running into walls or tripping over flat surfaces.

Update 3-7-10

My uncle is now in the hospital because he has blood clots in both of his legs.

Ta Da!

Won't chat long, just an update.

Had a grad student meet'n'greet today in the grad office, then had a presentation by Sylvia, then moved the party over to Madeline and Zach's house.  It was tons of fun.  Almost everyone brought a six-pack to the party, and amusingly enough it was all gone three hours later.  (I only had one, then a few cups of coca-cola.)  A prof also added some vodka to the mix, I believe, when he came.  I know at the very least he brought more beers for people, haha.  I got to meet their kitteh, Tiger, and he spent almost the entire evening in my general area, following me around.  He even meowed at me when I wouldn't pay attention, which he didn't do to other people.

He was cute and fuzzy and had kitten fur still.  He is probably two or three months younger than frick and frack here.  I also have bite and claw marks all over my arms from where he was 'playing'.  He was a cutie.

Also, if you guys know anyone in the northern Kentucky, southern Indiana, or SW Ohio area that can take one to three cats into their homes, please let me know.  A friend of mine is getting a divorce, and without a job or income of any sort, she cannot keep them.  I think the dog is accounted for, but she still has three cats that need a good home.  With four cats in our house, we can't take any more in.  I can't afford more, and besides, we're already two cats over the limit for our neighborhood.  (2 cat 2 dog max rule)

So if anyone can take 1, 2, or 3 (which would be the best!) please let me know.  We both want to make sure they get good homes.

I'm already posting more!

But don't expect too much of an update.  I have a sore on my jaw that is being obnoxious, but besides that, all I'm doing is work for school.  I have a presentation and a paper due on Thursday, and (an easy) five questions to do for my class on Wednesday.  But I'm currently more interested in sleep and the Olympics than diehard studying.  I have three more days before class again, though, so I have time.  Theoretically.

However, at the moment, I have a song stuck in my head.  It's been stuck in my head since the middle of the month, since that is when I heard the song a lot with the upcoming Valentine's day and all.  I love the sound and the rhythm of the music, and I've been humming it before I catch myself.  I've not heard it in years until it was on the radio a lot this month.  So here it is, and enjoy.

She's Always A Woman

Billy Joel

She can kill with a smile

She can wound with her eyes

She can ruin your faith with her casual lies

And she only reveals what she wants you to see

She hides like a child,

But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love

She can take you or leave you

She can ask for the truth

But she'll never believe you

And she'll take what you give her, as long as it's free

Yeah, she steals like a thief

But she's always a woman to me

CHORUS:

Oh--she takes care of herself

She can wait if she wants

She's ahead of her time

Oh--and she never gives out

And she never gives in

She just changes her mind

And she'll promise you more

Than the Garden of Eden

Then she'll carelessly cut you

And laugh while you're bleedin'

But she'll bring out the best

And the worst you can be

Blame it all on yourself

Cause she's always a woman to me

--Mhmm--

Bridge

CHORUS:

Oh--she takes care of herself

She can wait if she wants

She's ahead of her time

Oh--and she never gives out

And she never gives in

She just changes her mind

She is frequently kind

And she's suddenly cruel

She can do as she pleases

She's nobody's fool

And she can't be convicted

She's earned her degree

And the most she will do

Is throw shadows at you

But she's always a woman to me

--Mhmm--

Beth will understand...

Wednesday I was on campus.  A good thing, since I had classes all day.  But regardless.

Something amazing and wondrous and dangerous, all at once, and all rolled into one, happened to me.

When I told my parents this Wednesday night, my dad asked, "Did you find 'the one'?"  I looked at him, and went, "Psh, no.  Way better."  My mom asked, "Did you find an amazing restaurant."  Again, "What care do I have for food, when I have found heaven, dangerous though it may be?"

Perhaps I was dramatic.  But oohhhhh ohohoh it was horrible and spectacular.

I found.... an art store.  On campus.  Close.  Closer than my favorite food places even.

And there rows and rows of art supplies!  I know, this is an obvious thing, but after 6 years of no art classes, and now having been commissioned for a few hand-drawn pictures for this summer already, it was glorious.  They have also changed some art things to make them less messy and easier to use.  New toys, new things.  Some of my art stuff is too old to use, and it was so dangerous to let me in there with a credit card in my pocket.

I somehow restrained myself from buying too much stuff.  I only got an eraser that was too cool to not get, and a drafting tool that I can shape-erase with.

But ohhh it was hard not to walk out with sooo much more.

So lovely.

*purrrr*

Updatedness and Klutziness

For those of you that have noticed, sorry for not being around!  Been *super* busy this year - omigosh, time has just flown by!  It seems like I just started my masters a few weeks ago, and I'm almost about to wrap up my second of three quarters!  Can you believe it?  I still have four papers to do and probably 100-120 more things to grade before I can call it a quarter, and a presentation to give as well, and while it's keeping me busy I've not felt so... prepared and efficient in a very long time.

For those of you who knew me in high school, you know how necessary it is for me to be almost to the point of overwhelmed before I am really.... efficient at school work.  I need the constant stress of work.  Like in high school, I had lacrosse, academic team, AP and Honors classes, and so forth.  And while I'm worked hard, I have great professors this quarter that are working with me to make sure I'm doing the best work I can muster.

I have found that I commonly have the dissenting opinion on topics which we debate within classes.  While it is stressful and upsetting many times, I am happy to have the support of my professors and mentors within the program to reassure me that, while I have an opinion opposite of many of my peers, with my ability to reason and back up my points I am not interpreting facts and information incorrectly - merely differently than my peers.

Emma and Kyrie are both doing well.  They are as silly and endearing as ever.  Kyrie has a general dislike of men, but Emma at least has a lukewarm reaction to my father now instead of offering him a cold shoulder.  Both are my snuggle kitties, and rarely let me leave their sight when I am home.

My photo site is coming together.  You can see it here: www.septemberskiesphotography.com    It's still under construction, but I have already gotten a couple of requests to do some shoots, which is great.  I love taking photos, and it's nice when people think I do a good enough job they'd be willing to pay me.

My uncle is currently down in Daytona area, but he has moved into a hospice.  He wants to go back to the beach house, but we think it is unlikely.  However, he is in denial about his state and condition.  He is surviving, basically, on a morphine drip.  They're not going to let him really 'leave' the hospice if they can't get the pain controlled.  The entire situation is nasty, and it is even worse with the denial going on within the family.  Not that I can particularly blame them for being in denial, but I prefer to be more practical.  I would rather have my affairs in order and expect the worst, and hope for the best.  They're assuming the best and ignoring the worst case scenario.  The entire situation has been a mess though.

However, the act of carrying four jobs (count em, 1, Grad school; 2, TAing; 3, Subbing; 4, Getting a freelance job put together) is both challenging and invigorating.  It's keeping me out of trouble, theoretically.  It's keeping me on my toes for sure.

I have changed the setup of the blog a bit so that I could get a new outlook on it and perhaps post more.  We shall see how that works.

Until next time, whenever that may be...

Irony

I just realized my farewell post to Molly was my 200th post. Fitting tribute for such a sweet dog.

I won't post much, as I have little I feel like going into depth about.

• We got Molly's ashes back on Friday. A beautiful wooden box surrounds her beautiful soul now, though I cry every time I see it.
• My uncle, who has pancreatic cancer, has been on chemo for the last many months, as many of you know. He's tried two different types of chemo treatment, and last week he got another scan to see how the second type had worked (the first didn't work). It has spread as well as gotten bigger. He has chosen to go off of chemo in hopes of enjoying his last days in less pain and exhaustion than he felt when on chemo. For a better explanation as to what has happened, here's his caring bridge site: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/garymasterson
• Jasmine is doing okay right now, but mom and I are not sure she will be with us much longer either. While she still has a lot of fight, she is just weak and pitiful.

On better notes, I guess:

• School is going okay. I like my teachers (and my classes) much more this quarter. They're cool. And no random busywork to do.
• I have a lot of responsibility in my TA class, which is cool. I enjoy that immensely.
• On days I don't have school in the morning, I've been subbing at the high school. That also makes me happy.
• My kittens make me happy.

That's all for right now.

Goodbye, my sweet, sweet Molly

Cryin' For Me / Wayman's Song by Toby Keith (excerpt)

Got the news on Friday mornin’
But a tear I couldn’t find
You showed me how I’m supposed to live
And now you showed me how to die
I was lost till Sunday mornin’
I woke up to face my fear
While I’m writing you this goodbye song
I found a tear

I’m gonna miss that smile
I’m gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I’d do it all again
So play it sweet in heaven
‘Cause that’s right where you wanna be
I’m not crying because I feel so sorry for you
I’m crying for me

(...)

I’m gonna miss that smile
I’m gonna miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I’d do it all again
So play it sweet in heaven
‘Cause that’s right where you wanna be
I’m not crying because I feel so sorry for you
I’m crying for me

I’m still crying
I’m crying for me
I’m still crying

I love you and miss you, Molly. Go play in the snowdrifts, chase butterflies in fields of amber, and run until your lovely heart is contented. I'll see you again one day, I promise you.

I love you.