Thanksgiving

It has been brought to my attention that I have not posted recently. I apologize.

News updates: I got hired today! I have orientation starting Dec. 4th. I'll be working at Archivers, which is a scrapbooking store. It's a part time job, and lousy pay, but a great working environment - clean, safe, friendly, bright, etc. I'm very excited for it. I will also be trained as an instructor for scrapbooking classes, because they asked me to during the interview. Hadn't planned on it, but they said I had the right personality and temperment to teach, and they thought I would be an excellent instructor.

I have one rat named Teagan, who is absolutely adorable. She's a dumbo rat, meaning her ears are on the side of her head, and she's a very funny color - neither grey nor brown, but a combination depending on the light. With the way it shifts, if you pet her, it looks like you're petting aluminum or something. Some sort of metal.

I have two other ratties... that I'm currently trying to decide what to do with. I don't want to return them, becasue they'll be feeders, but Teagan hates their guts. And I don't have the room or the patience to have two rat tanks. So we shall see what I decide to do.

I've been doing a lot of freelance stuff - web design, content writing, marketing writing, writing of any and all sorts, photography. Ain't paying the bills.

I will have a substitute teaching license in a month or so, sooo by January I should also be subbing at local schools.

I am currently writing apps up again for graduate school, we'll see if this year is more successful into getting into schools... that ALSO pay me to go. I did get into two last year. But by time they offered me stuff, it wasn't economical.

So, for the rest of the blog (unless I change my mind by then) will be about Thanksgiving. Which is tomorrow... or today... or yesterday... by time you read it. Everything I'm using is from an email I got from Natorp's weekly newsletter, "In the Garden". Therefore, I did not write any of this, and the quips and blurbs came from the email written by Ron Wilson. So enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~

'Twas the Night of Thanksgiving

-'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep. I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep. The leftovers beckoned, the dark meat and white, but I fought the temptation with all of my might.

-Tossing and turning with anticipation, the thought of a snack became infatuation. So I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door, and gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.

-I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes, pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes. I felt myself swelling so plump and so round, till all of a sudden I rose off the ground!

-I crashed thru the ceiling, floating into the sky, with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie. But I managed to yell as I soared past the trees, "Happy eating to all, pass the cranberries please!"

*****

Thanksgiving Forecast - Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190 degrees. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder. During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice thru the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on the plate. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy. A weight watch and indigestion warning will have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 39 degrees in the refrigerator. Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50% chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

*****

~ Pardon me! Each year, the National Turkey Foundation presents the President of the United States with a live turkey and two dressed turkeys. This has become a traditional holiday ritual, signaling the unofficial beginning of the holiday season, and a chance for the President to reflect on the meaning of Thanksgiving. By the way, the President pardons the live turkey and allows the bird to retire on a historical farm to live out the rest of its years

~ Groovy - the stuff hippies put on their mashed potatoes.

~ Turkeys have a persecution complex. You would too if you were cut to pieces, have the stuffing knocked out of you, and get picked on for days after Thanksgiving.

~ Don't take a turkey to church. They use such fowl language!

~ If government officials talk turkey, can we say they speak "gobbledygook"?

~ You know you went nuts at Thanksgiving if the paramedics have to bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the Lazy Boy recliner. Or, if representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called you twice.

~ Did you know this about turkeys:
..... that their heads change colors when they become excited?
..... that the heaviest turkey on record weighed 86 pounds?
..... that June is National Turkey Lover's month?
..... that Big Bird's costume is made from turkey feathers?
..... that turkeys have great hearing but no external ears? They see in color, have excellent vision (270 degree field of vision), have a poor sense of smell but an excellent sense of taste!
..... that it takes about 80 pounds of feed to raise one 30 pound turkey?

~ Historically in England, swans, peacocks and cranes were roasted for special occasions. Charles Dickens changed all that thanks to "The Christmas Story" (serving turkey for Christmas dinner.)

~ The top 5 most popular ways to serve leftover Thanskgiving turkey: sandwiches, soup or stew, casserole, stri-fry, and salad.

~ Turkey is the most often prepared sandwich year-round.

~ The tradition of the Pilgrim's first Thanksgiving (1621) is full of myth and legend. As best our records can tell us, the original Thanksgiving menu included venison, fowl (probably not turkey), fish and seafood, grains (cornmeal / fried bread, etc), fruits (which included boiled pumpkins), vegetables, nuts and herbs and seasonings. A bit different from today's menu, don't you think?

*****

And to end it all, a quip also from the newsletter I got - but a good blessing nonetheless!

May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump, may your potatoes and gravy have never a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!

Politics

First off, during my attempt at getting as sub license, I have discovered something. My fingerprints are unreadable. When the lady jokingly asked if I'd robbed a bank lately, I commented, "Of course, just left there. Could I get fingerprinted, please?" I think that made her day. Unfortunately it's becoming a pain when I can't even get my prints taken.

On a different note, Steph is an Angel. A true angel. And that's not me sucking up to her. She got me a job as a freelance writer, and although it doesn't pay much, it's paying a LOT more than nothing. And she sent one of her customers my way when she had too much to do, so now I have two people that are asking me to do a lot of their orders. One's on jeeps (which, she also sent my way)! If you want to keep a log of what info I've been writing, just ask me for the site. When I started, it was all in latin. You know, that basic filler crap they put in web templates. So now I'm taking care of that problem. ^_^ Perhaps not the BEST work ever, given that I'm doing assignments pretty fast, but still decent I think.

And now for the title of my post: politics. I will be SO very happy when this election is over. I found this while searching the web. The link I got it from is http://wrightrepublican.blogspot.com . It pretty much sums up how I feel about it all. I lose either way I vote.

Anyways, enjoy this satire:

GOP vs Dems

Dem: I’m voting Democrat, because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

GOP: I’m voting Republican, because I believe I have a right to government protection without paying for it.

Dem: I’m voting Democrat, because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

GOP: I’m voting Republican, because I believe government’s authority is more important than my privacy.

Dem: I’m voting Democrat, because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

GOP: I’m voting Republican, because when we pull out of Iraq, I want the U. S. Army to invade Iran.

Dem: I’m voting Democrat, because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

GOP: I’m voting Republican, because air pollution and high gasoline prices are no big deal.

Dem: I’m voting Democrat, because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

GOP: I’m voting Republican, because women should have no choice about being pregnant, and keeping thousands of people on death row makes more sense than life without parole.

Dem: I’m voting Democrat, because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as Government sees fit.

GOP: I’m voting Republican, because I believe business should be allowed to make unlimited profits at the expense of everybody else and hide their money in offshore banks while I pay the taxes.

Dem: I’m voting Democrat, because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

GOP: I’m voting Republican, because I believe a do-nothing Congress is better than progress.

Dem: I’m voting Democrat, because I don't believe that when the terrorists don't have to hide from us over there, they will come over here and I won't have any guns in the house to fight them off with.

GOP: I’m voting Republican, because I believe my kids are safer if my neighbors send their kids to school with shotguns.

Dem: I’m voting Democrat, because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

GOP: I’m voting Republican, because I believe I have a God-given right to tell other people who they should marry and not marry.

Dem: I’m voting Democrat, because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

GOP: I’m voting Republican, because I believe oil companies' profits should be supplemented by government tax breaks.

GOP: Makes ya wonder why anyone would EVER vote Democrat, now doesn't it?

Dem: Makes ya wonder why anyone would EVER vote Republican, now doesn't it?

Tornados and other such niceties

I figured I should post, as I haven't in a while. I wear my contacts every other day it seems, which isn't good. I need to wear them more. But when I take them out, I can't see at all. Now, before you make a sarcastic comment, I have put my glasses back on. And therein lies the problem. If I didn't have them on I wouldn't get so disoriented as to almost become sick. With contacts, I can see everywhere and adjust to them without incident. Take them off... and everything blurs, my head reels, and I look very drunk if I attempt this thing called walking. Bah.

I need to trim my nails.

Lately, as in the last two days, we've had nasty storms and many funnel clouds. Lots of damage in the area. Last night the sirens were going off nonstop. Luckily for me, this storm area is moving north. Unluckily for my Chicago friends, that's where it's headed. Enjoy, kiddos!

I have written all my thank you cards. I hate handwriting things. It's so slow. And my hands hurt afterwards. And thank you cards in general annoy me. I can't help but come up with a dry and boring sentiment of thanks. I hope no one minds too much. I tried, people, I really did my best at writing them.

I really want to go to NY. I'm not sure how that's going to play out.

I need a job. Ditto the line before the one about a job.

I am hopefully going to Kentucky on Sunday to get some rats that have war wounds. At three weeks old, their mom attacked them in an attempt to wean them early. Friends have said that she only had severe postpartum depression. I found this insanely amusing and hilarious. If I got them, which I'm planning to, they'll be missing digits of toes and on some, half their tails. This, however, would not make them any less friendly and sweet and loving, all of which is my biggest concern in finding rats. They're not feeders, so they're bred for personality.

Saturday we will be in Paoli, IN for a wedding. Supposedly there will be a 'family tradition' taking place between the wedding and the reception. I will have a camera. I promise you. I will take pictures so that you will believe me. The tradition: Tossing the bride into a wheelbarrow, and running around the town square with her in the wheelbarrow while rice is thrown at her. I make no joke. I shall take pictures if this occurs. It is destined to be a crowd pleaser. And a sad statement on the traditions of redneck communities. :P (I hope she never reads this blog.)

I have a new cd. It's decent so far. However, it is a Eurovision song that is currently capturing my attention. Still. Yes... it is Wolves of the Sea by Pirates of the Sea.

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dNB4g0AcH8 )



[random comment: If you have ever played DDR (or at least the version I've played, whatever it is) don't the girls in the background on the top stage look like the dorky computerized people that do some funky dances while the music plays?]

Another pirate portrayal / live action video:

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CVHP6nH2bY]






Also, Kung Fu Panda looks funny. So bad it might actually be good.