Rats are a girl's best friend.

Well, went to the funeral yesterday. I talked to Robby Moser -- I'm so afraid for him. I hope someone's put him on a suicide watch. He's a prime candidate for it. It's frightening. I hope all ends as well as it can for him.

I sat behind Victoria (I was told to. By her mom. So I was stuck in the family section. Definately, in retrospect, not a good thing. He was cremated and his urn was in the front of the auditorium, next to his motorcycle. Victoria got up and spoke, and it was a lovely speech. I cried. A lot. And Robby had prerecorded his speech, and the playing of taps, because he didn't want to break down halfway through his speech. It was so heartbreaking. Parents shouldn't have to bury (or cremate) their children. They shouldn't ever have to do that.

I wore a black dress, and my shoes were complimented by many. That made me very happy. If I have to wear heels, I like it when people complement them. I think I looked pretty good. I went in to the HS before the ceremony to hang out with mom and the others, then after the service met up with mom for lunch. We went looking for hermit crab shells, and I got to hold several rats. Oh, they made me so very very happy. So very happy. I got tons of ratty kisses, and one of the babies fell asleep on me, nustled in the crook of my arm. Oh it made me so happy. Nothing quite compares to the love of a rat.

Have a few more apps to finish sending out, then I'll be done. I just have had no motivation for anything the last week or so. I've been too upset.

And I've lost interest in finishing this post. So, I'm done for now.

Later.

2 Hours

Well, I held it together during the entire visitation. Stood in line for 2 hours, then hugged Victoria for a long time, as well as her parents, then went and talked to the random ROTC people there that I still knew. Went out to Donato's afterwards with some of the people Victoria and I play DDR with. Then I came home and had a damn good cry.

Tomorrow's the funeral. We'll see how well I hold up then. I'm betting I won't hold up very well at all. If at all.

I also want to make a point to see his best friend. I should have said something to him tonight, and I didn't. I regret that immensely. No one will talk to him - he's being accused of involuntary manslaughter and weapons possession. He needs a hug. A big big hug. And tomorrow I am going to make a point to seek him out and see how he's doing.

I hope everyone has a better night than I am.

*whimper*

So, if for the next several days you wonder why I'm in a bad mood, sad mood, non-talking mood, this is why:

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/AB/20080103/NEWS01/801030392/

Daniel Ferraro died last night. Now, it was a stupid way to die. You don't go making pipe bombs to blow up an old wooden playhouse in your backyard, which is in the middle of a subdivision in a very populated suburb. You just don't.

But that's not the point. I knew him. He was Navy ROTC. He was in Pistol Club. He was my RA (and a good friend of mine)'s little brother. I have known him for a year and a half, because of all my navy classes. He was funny, witty, and just cool to be around. I always knew him as Ferraro. He was just a cool kid. He was also only 19.

This is the fourth Miami kid to die this school year. Two were hit by trains (both theoretically suicidal), one ODed on meds that he shouldn't have had in the first place, and now this. But this is the first guy I've known, and actually known, talked to, liked, and was generally good friends with, who has died. I've known others, yes, but it was a distant knowledge. Barely acquaintences.

Now, we're talking ROTC people here. They're a close knit family. I knew this kid. And I knew him well. I can see his face, hear his voice, hear his laugh, watch him play pranks. He was an amazing kid, even if he did do stupid stuff.

And I'm also good friends with Victoria, his older sister, my RA, and a good friend of mine. She's the one that taught me swing dancing can, indeed, be fun. She's dragged me along to dances, and convinced me to get out of the dorms (bless her heart). And now her little brother is gone. And I have no way to comfort her. And this hurts just about as bad. I know her parents, and I knew her brother. The only person I didn't know in her family was her little sister.

Visitation is going to be on Sunday from 4-8pm. I'm definately going, and for probably all four hours. I need to be there for them. I love that family, and I want to do all I can. The service will be at 10 am on Monday - I'm also going to that. They only live 10 minutes away from me.

I've been a complete wreck all day. When mom told me about it this morning, she didn't know that I knew him. But I've been crying and depressed all day. I'm just a complete mess. I can't focus, I can't concentrate, I can't do much of anything today. So if I'm not very conversational, I apologize right now. But I'm missing a great guy and grieving for his family and my friends. I'm not used to people I actually know really well dying. This is a shock to me, and I'm still trying to cope.

I hope everyone else is having a better day, and I will talk again later.

YAY!

I hope everyone had a darling New Year's Eve and an amazing Christmas. I know I did, and I'm happy everyone is still around for it.

Well, I gave my parents their present. They really liked it. Took eternity to make it though, didn't it!? Thanks to all you lovely people who helped make it a success - Leigh for the musical finds, Steph for some editing, Cristina for artistic input... Now I have to clean it all up. :P

Let's see, working backwards.

We now have a family membership to a gym. I think I'm the only one actually interested, however.

Read an amazing new series -- okay so not that new, but it still hasn't been all written and published yet. The Ranger Apprentice series rocks my world right now. Takes LOTR's Rangers and puts them in a King Arthur-esque setting. It's a cool blend. Although a teen read, it's definately one worth reading. Fourth book comes out in May.

Christmas was good. Got several awesome things. I should post pictures at some point... WITH my NEW digital camera. ;)

http://www.nikonusa.com/template.php?cat=1&grp=2&productNr=25424

There's the camera. Also have two lenses for it: 18-55mm, then a 55-200mm. It's pretty dang sweet. I also have a camera bag for it now, as well as lens protectors, cleaners, enhancers, etc.

I got some CDs by Anuna, and some figurines of knights and the like. A book on sailing ships, and The Daring Book for Girls. I got some cute stuffed bears that had on military uniforms (Navy, Army, Marines). Some watches with the navy and marine emblems on them. An 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie' mouse. A vest, and a shawl. A book on Star Wars (Star Wars Vault). An INTERNATIONAL CALLING CARD so that I could talk to Steph. ^_^ Some DVDs that include Sister Act/Sister Act 2, Ratatouille, POTC3, and The Last Unicorn. And various gerbil treats.

All in all, a dang good Christmas.

But, now that I have updated and appeased the masses, I shall go.

Toodles.

Hi.

I'm not dead. Not that anyone would have noticed.

<.<
>.>

Consider me posted. More at some other time.

Only a few more days

Saw Enchanted yesterday. Very very fun movie. National Treasure 2 is on tomorrow's list.

I have no life.



Every Christmas Eve in a western town
Gather up the kids all the friends and family
'Cause the holly's hung and the candle's bright
Tuning up a fiddle on a moon lit night
Roll back the rug so we can two step 'round the Christmas tree.

There's a jolly man in a bright red suit
Did you ever see a Santa in cowboy boots
Twirling across the floor spurs a-jingling merri-ly
As they sing those carols soft and low
We'll all be shouting out cotton-eyed Joe
Roll back the rug so we can two step 'round the Christmas tree

Waiting 'neath the mistletoe you'll never get a kiss
I never move that slow there's to much I could miss
'Cause a western girl can't be still
And a silent night is not for me
Roll back the rug so we can two step 'round the Christmas Tree

Red Bandanas, kelly green,
Silver buckles on a new blue jeans
Jumpin' 'round the room to a yule tide melo-dy
I'm gonna be ready when Santa comes
But I'm gonna be dancing til he does
Roll back the rug so we can two step 'round the Christmas tree

Waiting 'neath the mistletoe you'll never get a kiss
I never move that slow there's to much I could miss
'Cause a western girl can't be still
And a silent night is not for me
Roll back the rug so we can two step 'round the Christmas Tree
Roll back the rug so we can two step 'round the Christmas Tree

For Steph

[In Norway on Christmas Eve, after the family's big dinner and opening of all the presents, all of the brooms in the house are hidden. The Norwegians long ago believed that witches and mischievous spirits would come out on Christmas Eve and steal their brooms for riding. This same tradition applies at the Heikenfeld house, so that Rita doesn't go riding around on her broom Christmas Eve.]



Alright. Well. I have no allergies to whatever they stuck on my back. This is good, in that I don't need to get them out of my environment. This is bad, because we don't know what I'm allergic to. But must not be too terribly common.

My hands are FREEZING.

I get the house to myself tomorrow. Good times. I hope I can get my stupid project done.

My feet are freezing too, now that I think about it.


WINTER WONDERLAND

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Gone away is the bluebird,
Here to stay is a new bird
He sings a love song, as we go along,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
We'll say: No man,
But you can do the job when you're in town.

Later on, we'll conspire, as we dream by the fire
To face unafraid, the plans that we've made,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he's a circus clown
We'll have lots of fun with Mister Snowman,
Until the other kids knock him down.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a chilling
We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Walking in a winter wonderland,
walking in a winter wonderland.

Pirates!

Went to the Pirate exhibit down in Cincy again today, this time with dad. Then went to Olive Garden for a late lunch. Then promptly came home to nap. *shifty eyes*

This allergy patch on my back is becoming a tad annoying. Not only does my skin react poorly to tape (which is all the way up and down my back) but I'm finally getting some painful reactions to whatever the hell they put on me. My entire right shoulder hurts. -_-

Gerbils enjoy stale cheese nips.

NCIS is on soon. I'm psyched.

I need to work on Xmas stuff soon. Bleh.



Jolly old Saint Nicholas,
lean your ear this way!
Don't you tell a single soul
what I'm going to say:
Christmas Eve is coming soon;
now, you dear old man
Whisper what you'll bring to me;
tell me if you can.

When the clock is striking twelve,
when I'm fast asleep
Down the chimney,
broad and black,
with your pack you'll creep
All the stockings you will find
hanging in a row
Mine will be the shortest one,
you'll be sure to know

Bobby wants a pair of skates,
Suzy wants a sled
Nellie wants a picture book,
yellow, blue, and red
Now I think I'll leave to you
what to give the rest
Choose for me, dear Santa Claus;
you will know the best.

Christmas in Killarney

Hey y'all. So, went in to see the skin doctor today. Now I have twenty-four different allergens on my back to see if I'm allergic to any of them. >.<>

And now I'm cold. Enjoy the music.

Christmas In Killarney

The holly green, the ivy green
The prettiest picture you've ever seen
Is Christmas in Killarney
With all of the folks at home

It's nice, you know, to kiss your beau
While cuddling under the mistletoe
And Santa Claus you know, of course
Is one of the boys from home

The door is always open
The neighbors pay a call
And Father John before he's gone
Will bless the house and all

How grand it feels to click your heels
And join in the fun of the jigs and reels
I'm handing you no blarney
The likes you've never known
Is Christmas in Killarney
With all of the folks at home

Randomness Pt.2

http://www.1800goguard.com/movie/index2.php

This made me very happy. Dad sent it to me earlier in the evening. 3 Doors Down. Music video. For the Nat'l Guard. How sweet is that!?