California : Day 1

Ugh. Been a lonnnnng day. Went to bed around 1 am last night. Was up at 5 to go to the airport. Needless to say those four hours were not peaceful, so they don't constitute as real sleep. Been 'up' ever since 5am. I didn't even fall asleep in the plane. You'd better be proud of me.

We flew over the Grand Canyon. Below are the pics of the very beginning (or end) of it -- the main part was on the other side of the silly plane. But still cool. And other plane pictures are included. Then is a pic of my hotel room. We're kinda in a extended living type hotel room, so I'm kinda in a loft, and my parents have a room below me which is on the 'first' floor. We have a small kitchen, two bedrooms, two showers, two sinks etc. It's niiiice. Went on a walk today. Tons of fun. Got mom a flower while I was out... with the one dollar bill I had. That's all I brought. >.< Okay. So. Pictures. Me slaphappy. Me say no more. ;)

Grand Canyon

Somewhere in Cali














My room (loft part visible, outside the window is the pool and busy busy busy street, beside me (on right) are the stairs, and behind me are the showers/sinks/etc.)

POSTSCRIPT:

Okay. Sorry. Had to add this. *I* found it amusing. Perhaps it has to be in context. Even if it does, and no one finds it funny, tough. ;)

EXCERPT:

"Well, that's as good a reason as any." But that was an answer for Face. Castin might have volunteered for this duty without a blemish on his record, but there was still a possibility of volatility there. Now, he had to wonder if Dia and Shalla were also carrying around emotional demolition charges just waiting to go off.

"Pirates," Piggy said, interrupting. The Gamorrean settled into a stuffed chair situated between Janson's sofa and the bar, near Donos and Castin.

"Pirates to you, too," Phanan said. "Is that a new greeting? Something Gamorrean? 'Scabrous pirates to you this morning.' "

" 'And bleeding pirates to you.' " Face gave his wingman a formal bow.

From: STAR WARS: X-WING: IRON FIST by Aaron Allston

So...

My last post was less than informative, I know.

I've been incredibly depressed lately. I'd say I don't know why, but I do. I'm stressed and I'm depressed. What a mix, eh? And before you can ask if you can help, no, you can't. So don't ask. And I don't really want to talk about it. I need to talk with mom and dad I think, but no one else can really do much, nor am I too willing to discuss much of it. Steph can probably drag some information out of me, if she's lucky, but she's probably the only one around anymore who can do that and get it. No offense to everyone else, just she was an awesome roomie and still an awesome friend and she's just that good. But if I've seemed a little out of it, it's not you. I'm just really fighting a lot of inner depression right now and considering seeing a counselor. Again. Didn't we go through this last year? Just different reasons.

Other news. I'm still really sad and hurt that Nic doesn't respond to me. (I think I can vent here, since everyone who reads this (like, all four of you) has heard my whining about her not responding, and I don't think she reads this anymore anyways. She's blocked me everywhere else it seems... or ignores me... one or the other...) Sent yet another email to her asking for SOME response. So, first letter, no response for almost two months. A couple IMs don't seem to go through. Second letter, no response. Phone, off or I'm blocked. Not sure which. But why leave a message if she doesn't even respond to emails? Probably not helping my depression at all, because I miss talking to her, laughing with her, roleplaying with her, griping about tests with her. Hell, she was my friend. I'd like to think she still is, but she's made it quite clear that, even if I'd like to think that, I'm *definitely* not in her life anymore. She's made sure of that. So I'm not sure which hurts more, her apparently not wanting to be friends anymore, after years of being so, or her completely ignoring me and blocking me from everything. I really don't think this is helping my depression either. At all. There went the only other person besides Steph who actually *understood* and didn't just listen. I just wish she'd get over her pride and tell me SOMETHING, even if it's just 'you suck'. I don't know why, when she always wanted to talk things out, why she won't talk this out. I just don't get it. I know most of you said its not worth your time stressing over, but I do. I always have.


Happier news. Think I got to get a picture of the raccoon this evening. Spent about two hours in the nature preserve tonight. Very good for the soul. Watched the ROTC marines do... whatever ROTC marines do. Not too sure. But they were doing it well. Tonight's animal tally: 1 raccoon, 4 deer, 12 vultures, 1 woodpecker, and 8 idiotic students going down the creek in rafts. This is probably a huge reason as to why the beavers didn't come out tonight.

Next weeks items: Monday - Paper due, project/presentation over Perelieu due. Tuesday - Project/presentation over Kent State Massacre due. Wednesday - .... nothing yet..... Thursday - Project/presentation over War of Mexican Independence due. Friday - .... home? Not sure yet. But it's Friday. Nuff said.


Alright, well I'm going to clean my room, maybe that will cut down some of the stress and depression. Put in a movie as I work. Lots and lots to do, and no energy to do it! IM me or call me to talk, I'll be around. Sooner or later. :)

Ghosts

Steph will understand.

I'm freaking out right now. I was stupid and looked at SciFi to see what was on. Happened to be Ghost Hunter. I hate the supernatural and ghost stuff, but I'm hooked and freaking out at the same time. I hate it but can't stop watching. And I'm remembering freshman year when she played all those stupid online things that freaked me out to no end. Cept this time I can't blame her. AND have no one to get the creepies out of my head.


On a different note.

Went walking today. Well ran tons of errands. Walked all over campus. Went to the CAS department, made sure my DARS was good to go. Then talked to some freshies about scheduling ideas. Then talked to Prof Cayton about my summer program. Then went to the med center to get bills and bloodwork results. Then went to the study abroad office, was there for about two hours talking to advisors and looking up info. Then sat on some stairs and watched people walk in front of cars, jeeps almost hit buses, buses almost hit motorcyclists, bikers almost hitting walkers, walkers really not giving a damn, girls who need to wear more clothes, guys who I wouldn't mind if they weren't wearing as many clothes, etc. Jordan dropped by and talked for a while, then went walking around campus for about another hour before coming back. I miss my Steph. This was her type of day. :)


PS. The squirrels are in a bad mood again. Yelling at me and throwing stuff at random passerbys. Sweetness.