Go for it.

Laugh at me. Make fun of me. Mock me. I don't give a damn.

I don't have many friends. I don't want them. You know why?

All they do is cause pain deeper than anything a stranger can do.

The more they know you, the deeper they know you, the closer they are to you, the more they're going to rip out your heart and cut it into pieces.

Now I remember why it takes me years to trust someone. Because then... then I assume they're not going to tear me to pieces. How ever wrong could I be. Those closest to you are the most likely to betray you. Kill you piece by piece.

Why did I ever learn to trust? WHY do people insist trying to teach that 'virtue'. It's meant to be broken.

One of the two people I trusted with my heart made broke it. So go on, laugh or mock me.

By time I read the comments or hear the words, my heart will be harder than stone.

It's safer that way.

Never did I think I'd feel what it meant to be 'broken hearted' because I never intended to let some guy break my heart -- I never intended to date anyone that I didn't think I could potentially continue to deal with and live with in ten, twenty years. Instead, I managed to have it torn in pieces by a friend I once knew, I thought decently well.

Damn it.





Damn it.

So go on, mock me. Mock the fact I'm a cold-hearted jerk. Mock the fact that I am friends with only a few.

Go for it.



But when I'm famous, and have these awesome fantasy books out on the best-sellers lists, when I'm teaching at that perfect school, when I'm famous and on TV, remember this:

I'm there and you aren't. Because that's all I can look after, really. Me, myself, and I. Because chances are, you'll ditch me too.

Just like everyone else.





Damn it all to hell.


Why? WHY?





Damn it all.

Yarr!

Pirates3 came out yesterdayyyy! I got to go with Nick, Beth, Daniel, and Loren. Tonight we had dinner and watched Pirates1. Yarr! Soo many references we caught in this one that were in the third. Click the pirate picture below to read more about it.

The PIRATE QUEEN

We had a lot of fun. Tonight we had brats and chili dogs for dinner, talked for a couple hours, then watched Pirates1 till 11:15pm. Loren and Daniel promised to help me with some projects I'm working on as well, for which I am very excited. (You know, these pirates pictures of me make me look fat.... -grimaces- Stupid poofy shirt. I KNEW I should have straightened it before I got my picture taken!)

I got lots of really fun comments at the theatres last night, as well as some amusing looks when I was driving to get to the theatre. No one even questioned that I had a sword on... then again, we passed a few people that could have easily passed as prostitutes and much more dangerous looking pirates than me....


Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE hanging out with my friends?


Anyways. From here on out will be pictures that have been taken since school let out for summer... since they only got uploaded this afternoon. I'm still missing pictures from Brad's wedding, but when I upload those, those will be online too. Savvy? ;) Have a great night! (BTW, I hate the photo service here. I don't think I'll use blogger photo albums again...)

Me being ... me ... at Brad's wedding. Picture courtesy of Beth and my camera.

Butterflies! Me and my newest pet... for the five minutes he graced me with his presence that is.

Noah with his butterfly.

Really awesome butterfly.

Logan (left) and Noah (right) at the Butterfly show at the Krohn Conservatory.

Logan hiding in the conservatory. Most of you would love his shirt. It reads: "I'm not dead yet!" You guess the play.

Olivia. She's soo cool. We were filming a lacrosse game her dad was coaching. (Her old team.)

>.<

THERE IS NO MIDNIGHT SHOWING!

I'm faaaaaamous!

http://usspirates.blogspot.com

That should explain it. AHHH! Sooo happy.

I've been gone a lot since I got out of school - I apologize. I have been at 7 doctors in 11 working days. I have volunteered at the high school every wednesday. I have been at Kaplan courses every Mon/Wed night. I have vision therapy every Wed. Afternoon. I am ATTEMPTING to clean my room. I'm still exhausted / fatigued (hence all the doctors), so I sleep a lot. I have been mowing the lawn, and running up to Miami to acquire books of all sorts. I'm trying to do my Kaplan homework. I'm doing my research. And I'm trying desperately to talk to someone who said she'd talk to me two weeks ago and still refuses to answer IMs. >.< Now that one's frustrating.

Got a shot today. That was less than fun. But, I'll be healthier for it in the long run! Stuff like that I'm willing to deal with the pain for. With the world we live in today... yeeeah. I'll take the vaccine. I have two more doses to take - one in July, then one 6 mos from then.

I went to a butterfly show on Thursday. Did you know 23, 24 year old men act like 3 year olds when they're around butterflies and left to their own devices? Seriously! I felt like I was babysitting them both! But it was tons of fun -- I can babysit those types of kids. ;)

I'll put up pictures here soon -- I need to upload them all first. Two nights ago I went outside to take pictures of the moon and Venus (riiight next to each other - it was beautiful!) I had my regular camera, so it wasn't digital and had a telescopic lense. I then went to the corner of the street to take pictures -- and scared the neighbors. Not sure if they thought I was a cat burglar or what... but he came out and we chatted for a while. You know how scary I look with my camera! Yarr! Fear me! I should have good pictures though, once I get them developed.

So the latest doctor thought I was just seriously depressed. Am I? I'm only 'depressed' about one thing, and I can't fix that until the reason decides to talk with me. And I can figure stuff out. But besides being incredibly depressed about missing my friend that I angered last semester and she won't let me try to fix it.... I didn't think I was THAT depressed. I didn't really like that doctor anyways.

Okay, off to respond to the newspaper people, and then off to another annoying, irritating, infuriating class at Kaplan. Tata!


OHOHOH. Just came in. MIDNIGHT SHOWING FOR PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN WITH BETH AND NICK! And possibly Ben S. too!

Ahh!

I'll have a post soon! I swear! That has real information on it!

I GOTTA BE HOME FIRST!

Not the easiest thing to do it seems.

I GOT A 4.0!

I GOT A 4.0!!!!!!!!

Can you believe it!? I GOT A 4.0!!!!!!!! Moved my GPA up to a 3.4, which still isn't good enough - but so much better! 4.0! I've not had that since High School!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I moved out of school last week - but haven't really been home. Friday - spent time with friends then went to a lecture by Matthew Stover. Was spectacular.

Saturday - GalaxyCon and Cincy Public Library. Research and Star Wars -- what a mix! Was tons of fun. Also bought about 13 books there. Sweetness.

Sunday - Wedding for Brad and Aileen. It was wonderful to see my friends again.

Monday - Doctor and voting and errands.

Tuesday - Eye doctor and errands, and trying to figure out how to get to Kaplan so I don't get lost next week.

Wednesday - up at 6 to go to the HS with mum and stayed around till 2, then came home and cleaned.

Today - Up to go to the orthodontist then had lunch, and now cleaning my room AND REALIZING I GOT A 4.0! (Amazing what only 15 hours will do for someone.)

Tomorrow - Up at 8:30 to call the doctor for test results and see where I need to go next, then go to Indy with mom, hang out there till dad's out of meetings, then go with dad to the booksale and ride back with him. I love booksales. It's been quite too long.

Saturday - go to Louisville for an early Mother's Day. Come back that night.

Sunday - Freedom? Maybe? Freedom = cleaning rooms.



I think I may be able to see again soon. That is super exciting, since this has been plaguing me for the last two years. I've repeated this several times already, so I'll basically copy paste what I've told people.

I already have 'accomodative insufficiency', which means that I have issues focusing from near to far and so forth - basically my eyes over-focus. I also, we found out, have this thing called 'esophoria', meaning that even though my eyes are perfectly aligned when I look at something, I see it cross-eyed, so I see double vision. Which is why, no matter how good of a prescription I have, it doesn't fix the problem, and words still look blurry. My eyes are young enough, apparently, that they're working overtime to compensate for this double vision, so I just have a major headache and see blurry instead of double, and it exhausts me cuz they're trying their damndest to make me see one image, but only succeed in making it blurry. So we're putting prisms in my glasses to refocus my eyes so they can comprehend what they see, where they want to see it.

I'm so excited! I might actually see like a normal person again!!! I need better vision before I do all this research - last year almost killed me because it hurts sooo much to read and see.

I GOT A 4.0!

Okay, that's all. Cleaning and working on research. Tons of fun!


PS. I have been extremely clumsy and full of weird luck today. Don't be suprised if I manage to hurt myself more before bedtime.

I can't make some of this stuff up.

I get a random note saying 'yeah I sold the kayak, want to go out with my best friend instead', a good friend started speaking to me again, I went on a midnight walk with a friend, burned myself MICROWAVING dinner, twisted my ankle walking down the hall after my final, and cracked my head loud enough someone outside could hear the 'thunk' when I woke up.

I'm afraid to move out now...

Could this week get any weirder? What a silly silly week.


PS. FINALS ARE OVERRRRR!

Boat hook-ups and Movie plug-ins

Pirate link, for those of you who were curious about the two posts after this: http://usspirates.blogspot.com


A response to a inquiry I'd had about a possible used kayak:

It is sold. I do have another boat...but my guess is
it is way too big for you if you were looking at a
wavesport zg like I had. It is a wavesport score. It
is for a weight range of up to 275.

Did you already find a boat?

Hey this is going to be a way off the wall question
but here it goes....

I'm about to get married and my best friend has been
trying to meet a cool girl that likes to kayak for a
long time now... I don't know you so I'm not even sure
if you are cool, but if you kayak that is a great
start. Any way, here's the idea...if you are single
and open to meeting a great guy then maybe I can play
match maker over a kayak that was never sold.

So there it was, crazy question. If you are interested
just email me back, I will try not to take a month to
read it. Maybe destiny will be in the kayaks....



I found this hilarious. No, I don't know what or how to answer this yet. But I found it hilarious and thought you would too.

Leigh's response:

Sunburned Devil /ES3 [Toast] says:
now that is a strange email
Sunburned Devil /ES3 [Toast] says:
you got that in reply to a reply to a boat ad?
Sunkissed Angel says:
i couldn't stop laughing
Sunkissed Angel says:
yes!
Sunburned Devil /ES3 [Toast] says:
wow
Sunburned Devil /ES3 [Toast] says:
"I don't have the boat any more, and btw, will you go out with my friend?"


Oh I love you guys.


Steph is gonna call me after she gets done at Millett, and we're gonna watch a movie or two. I'm excited. I know Pride and Prejudice is definately on the list. ^^ Possibly a war movie as well.



Now, for funny commercials (if this works):

Funny commercial 1:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC1dxdBT-BQ




Funny commercial 2:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXV3yAGnFpk

What a week!

Been a crazy week, I swear! I had a final that I got Friday, and spent all bloody weekend working on it, and turned it in at 11am today. It was due by noon, but I didn't want to wake up earlier. Yesterday I had lunch with Noah, dinner with Mike, saw Hannah during lunch, and am going to dinner tonight with Steph (Keyes)! Last week went to lunch with Meg as well. I'm soo happy this semester's classes have gone so well. When I was at dinner last night, it amused me that I wasn't carded when I got a drink. lol. mmm... it was tasty. Welcome to Miami, I guess!

So Atlantis is playing until 3 today. Exciting. Enterprise on tonight. Met Wahl's parents as they were packing him up to go home. That was fun. Apparently he's not leaving till Thursday, but this was the only day his parents could come help him pack up. I'm really quite tired, believe it or not. Ugh, only two more finals. Hannah said there's a group of people heading to POTC3 for opening day, and asked if I'd want to come. Psh, YEAH! What was she thinking!?

Alright, time to go update the old pirate blog. I need to check in with Cayton once a week over summer to keep him updated on how I'm doing. Sooo sooner or later I'll start posting more on there. Even though I'm sure most of you will find it very dry and boring. ;)

Matthew Stover!

http://www.cincinnatilibrary.org/news/2007/galaxycon.html
I'm excited. I mean, seriously. ^^ So going to that!

Alright, back to working on my exams. This amphibious warfare one is being a pain.