The Laughing Fox

Live in a world of suspended amazement...

Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts

And now... a post!

Yeah... I took too long to post. I apologize.

So, I've been working Halloween Haunt at Kings Island. Tons of fun, even when the customers are true jerks in every sense of the word. I have already been punched, kicked, hit, poked, pushed, and prodded. And I've come off easy compared to lots of the workers in our maze.

During rehearsal week, I found out that I was extremely allergic to the fake blood they used. Within an hour I was going crazy with itching and burning where the blood touched my skin. Then... I realized... I was allergic to red dye. I have been ever since I was a kid, but I've always avoided things that, you know, I'm allergic to. So then they decided to put red paint on me instead of blood, and I was alleric to that... as well. Needless to say, makeup people get really angry if you tell them you're allergic to fake blood. *eyeroll*

Friday night, Sept 26, was our first operational night. It was absolutely awesome. I was hoarse by time it was halfway over, and totally, shall I say it? speechless by Saturday. I could not speak. That made Saturday night a very interesting night to haunt people. I either had to growl at them or squeak at them. I learned my lesson on how loud to be by the following weekend.

Which was... last weekend. Fridays we have this thing called Wall of Monsters that starts at 7 pm. People are outside waiting to come in, and all the people that are in outdoor attractions go outside to scare people in line, and to pretty much mingle and scare the teeny-bopper girls that are so easy to scare. Well, last Friday we'd had a new thing we could do... going INTO the parking area! As in, past the metal detectors and to the people buying tickets and the like. My friend, Sam, and I saw this, and decided to just haul through the gates to get to the crowds, like everyone else. I mean, if everyone else is running, why not join in?

Within three strides I was down like a rock. My quads felt like they were about to leap out of my skin and run away, like in a cartoon. I couldn't stand, I could not support my weight, and I was about to black out. So I half fell, half set myself down on the ground to keep from passing out as security guards ran over and poor Sam was freaking out next to me. I was doing my best not to sob, honestly. The pain was just unbearable. Even lying down it felt my legs had a match lit to them. Finally first aid showed up and wheeled me away in their cute little park ambulences to the station. They actually had to move my legs for me to get into the gurney, because I had no control over them. I was at First Aid for about two hours before my parents came to get me (and my car).

My quads felt like they were corded steel or granite. No force was strong enough to move them, and they were as hard as could be. I was able to move - albiet slowly and with help - to be able to get to the car (we were driven to it) and get home. After downing a 32 oz gatorade and a large cup of hot peppermint tea... I was able to move my legs again on my own. And get up and down the stairs and the like. Painful, but possible. By Saturday I was moving super slow but was moving, so returned to work. Managed to reinjure myself, and was back to the drawing board by Monday morning, when I used a staff to help balance myself throughout the house so I didn't fall. I, for all the world, felt like Gandalf. After he fell into the caves that is.

So now, over a week later, I'm still stiff and sore, but I'm walking again and able to move between a sitting position and a standing position. (yay!) I'm still in the search for a real job, but that's not suprising, seeing as how I haven't had a huge post saying "I HAVE A JOB!" yet. Files are being shifted around left and right on my computer as we reshuffle between two harddrives due to the fact I've run out of room and my compy doesn't support a bigger HD. I've been doing some writing, but overall (esp the last week, when it's been painful to move) I've been somewhat hermit-ish. More than usual. I have several pictures I'd love to post, including the handle of a Sam Adams beer thing, where it says "Take Pride in Your Beer" and the gerbils are chewing it up with a vengence. Talk about anger management. I found it quite amusing.

I also have some pictures of me with my Haunt makeup that I was testing at home, and a few things from Haunt itself... but I'm not allowed to post Haunt stuff until after Haunt.

However... I have something better. A You-Tube video posted by a patron. Starts at about 1:55 - the Tombstone section. On that, you can see me in costume AND makeup. Such a rarity, what with us not being allowed ourselves. ;) Enjoy and have a great day!

PS. The nutcase behind me is Scott. He's absolutely hilarious and an awesome guy to work with.

Go for it.

Laugh at me. Make fun of me. Mock me. I don't give a damn.

I don't have many friends. I don't want them. You know why?

All they do is cause pain deeper than anything a stranger can do.

The more they know you, the deeper they know you, the closer they are to you, the more they're going to rip out your heart and cut it into pieces.

Now I remember why it takes me years to trust someone. Because then... then I assume they're not going to tear me to pieces. How ever wrong could I be. Those closest to you are the most likely to betray you. Kill you piece by piece.

Why did I ever learn to trust? WHY do people insist trying to teach that 'virtue'. It's meant to be broken.

One of the two people I trusted with my heart made broke it. So go on, laugh or mock me.

By time I read the comments or hear the words, my heart will be harder than stone.

It's safer that way.

Never did I think I'd feel what it meant to be 'broken hearted' because I never intended to let some guy break my heart -- I never intended to date anyone that I didn't think I could potentially continue to deal with and live with in ten, twenty years. Instead, I managed to have it torn in pieces by a friend I once knew, I thought decently well.

Damn it.





Damn it.

So go on, mock me. Mock the fact I'm a cold-hearted jerk. Mock the fact that I am friends with only a few.

Go for it.



But when I'm famous, and have these awesome fantasy books out on the best-sellers lists, when I'm teaching at that perfect school, when I'm famous and on TV, remember this:

I'm there and you aren't. Because that's all I can look after, really. Me, myself, and I. Because chances are, you'll ditch me too.

Just like everyone else.





Damn it all to hell.


Why? WHY?





Damn it all.

I can't make some of this stuff up.

I get a random note saying 'yeah I sold the kayak, want to go out with my best friend instead', a good friend started speaking to me again, I went on a midnight walk with a friend, burned myself MICROWAVING dinner, twisted my ankle walking down the hall after my final, and cracked my head loud enough someone outside could hear the 'thunk' when I woke up.

I'm afraid to move out now...

Could this week get any weirder? What a silly silly week.


PS. FINALS ARE OVERRRRR!

A very brief update

Finally over the flu. Somewhat. Still tired all the time, and achy. Was in the ER, am now out of the ER. Obviously. Unable to go to any classes two weeks ago due to the stupid flu. Spent my entire spring break trying to get over the flu. Still not really over, but at least no longer infected. Just trying to recooperate from throwing up several times a day, coughing about four times every three minutes (yes, someone made a point to count), having a fever and being unable to sit up. Slept most of break. Now trying to frantically finish a paper due tomorrow (rough draft, thankfully), figure out graduation (Graduate early? Study abroad second semester? What to do with only needing 11 hours to graduate after summer?), figure out scheduling, figure out what session of the GRE classes I want to take, figure out HOW TO SUCCEED on the stupid GRE, vacation to CA, finish my capstone, get started and finish my four other papers, and so forth. Vaugely busy. And still, yes, sick and anemic. Cuz after being sick for two weeks and being unable to really eat during that time (and keep it in if i did eat), needless to say my I couldn't take iron and ZOOF there went what little control I had over my anemia, which is back in the bowels of despair. And I'm absolutely exhausted, anemic, and sick. Go me!

Okay that's my update.

PS. Leigh you suck, making me get an LJ. :-P I'll get to it later.

PPS. MSN hates me. Currently isn't working. Catch me on AIM - even if I have an away message up.

Frustrations

People frustrate me. What is it about getting a significant other that pushes all your old friends away? Why do you push away people you've known one, three, five, eight years longer than you've known your newest infatuation or something? I don't get it. I don't get why it's the girls that push away their older friends as soon as they get a boyfriend. Guys don't seem to do that, so why do girls? How come all the girls I know push me away as soon as they're with the current love of their life, but the guys just act like nothings really different and talk to me same as they used to? Why can't more people be like those guys? I mean, they're there with you side by side when things are going well for you both, and bad for you both. Girls push friends away when things are going well for them - I don't know how they expect people to still be there for them when things go to hell later on. Why should I be there when someone is having a shitty day, when they've pushed me away when things were going well for them? Doesn't make sense why I'd still be around to listen or talk then. I wanna be friends with people when they're happy AND sad, not just when they need that shoulder to lean on. Which I find is what people seem to want me there for. I'm sorry, but I'm just getting hurt one too many times to put up with this any longer. With five of my friends pushing me away as soon as they got a boyfriend, my caring is fading quickly. I mean if you can't make time for me when things are going well on your end, I don't have time to be there for you when it falls apart in front of your eyes. This isn't directed at one or two of you individually, this isn't an attack. But a few of you, I think, know you're the ones adding to my lack of caring. Just think about it from other angles, won't you?

I'm so confused and lost as to what to do. I don't get it; I don't understand. :-\


Oh yeah, and thanks boys, for being there to talk to. When you have a girlfriend and when you don't, when you're happy and when your sad, both.