Hockey Kitten

I'm liking that nickname right now. Leigh gave it to me. It makes me smile. An overview of our conversation, and highly edited and modified response, is as follows:


Me:
so i'm playing goal next monday
Leigh:
that is a good plan to avoid not getting knocked around
Me:
seems safer, oddly enough
Leigh:
well you're padded up for it well enough
Leigh:
it'll make you at least as big as the hockey guys without pads
Leigh:
so they'll still be bigger in theirs, but not so much so
Me:
they'll laugh as this little girl is there standing in goal for some wicked shots
Leigh:
and it may make it harder for them to score because every time they see you in the pads they'll go "awww"
Leigh:
like a kitten in a bucket kind of thing I'd imagine...
Me:
each time *I* fall they all ask if i'm okay
Me:
vs when a guy falls they just leave him
Me:
so i'm a kitten now?
Leigh:
naturally
Leigh:
haha no, kittens don't have sharp claws
- insert discussion about me playing as tough as the guys when possible -
Leigh:
well that counts for a lot
Leigh:
I trust it pays off from time to time?
Leigh:
even if you just get tossed most of the time?
Me:
well
Me:
it's gained me respect with the guys
Leigh:
I BET
Me:
i'm also one of three out of ...8? girls that wear actual hockey skates
Me:
the others wear figureskates
Leigh:
see, like I said more claws than a kitten has

- break-

Me:
but i'm happy
Me:
that i'm respected
Leigh:
yeah, go you!
Me:
i've made people pay attention to me
Leigh:
=D
Me:
they treat me as a girl, but not to the point they won't let me play, like the others
Me:
they... make sure i'm okay? but they don't let me have it easy either
Leigh:
that sounds like a pleasant middle ground
Me:
they won't even get near the other girls
Me:
besides the hockey one
Leigh:
I'm guessing usually when they ask if you're ok, you quietly tell them you are or something?
Leigh:
rather than "ack"
Me:
i'm usually up again before that
Leigh:
so yeah, pretty soon they probably won't even ask
Me:
i'm usually laughing and saying yes
Me:
well, they like to hit me harder than the others .
Leigh:
they probably feel badly because their training tells them to hit you before they realize it's the "hockey kitten"
Leigh:
oh so no then
Me:
they check me like a guy, but i'm not big enough to take it
Me:
so i go flying across the ice
Me:
from like red to blue lines
Leigh:
so yeah probably actually, they probably go "oh shit I threw her across there again"
Me:
that's how far i've gone each time
Leigh:
just don't collide with the puck and get icing called cause you're sliding
Me:
haha
Me:
he's not calling anything
Me:
even when someone got completely wiped out
Me:
he didn't stop
Me:
no offsides
Me:
no icing
Leigh:
oh wow
Leigh:
hardcore
Me:
no unncessary roughness (even tho it's an intro class)
Leigh:
so they're counting on you guys being reasonable
Me:
so we have varsity players beating the crap out of people like m e
Me:
i just give it back
Me:
..... as best i can
Me:
Corazón Salvaje has changed his/her name to "Hockey Kitten"
Me:
i'm soooooo sore
Leigh:
lol hockey kitten indeed



Other news. My attempts to be cool backfire. I figured I was doing well jumping from the hockey bench to the ice, I figured I could go ice to hockey bench. Yeah no. After thoroughly embarassing myself, I walked away as if nothing had happened and went in through the side door. If I were a cat, I would have taken a bath.

I also fell on my hip three times in 24 hours. Tuesday's hockey class - feet knocked out from under me. Fell on hip. Wednesday - went to a freestyle session before hockey (skating, with the jumps and all). Fell on hip. The same side. Went to hockey class immediately after. Got hit by teammate... yeah. I think you get the picture. Went sliding across the ice each single time.

Other news. I figure if you got this far (and yes I didn't put this first for a reason), I should probably tell you. My Jeep and I went off the road yesterday. I hit black ice on the Fox Highway as I was changing from the fast lane to the slow. I went into the side embankment (so lucky it was the strip of road that didn't have the concrete wall as the barrier). Managed to avoid the two or three metal signs that were literally next to me and in front of me. Didn't hit anyone. My car's okay. I'm okay. The gerbils are kinda pissed tho. They didn't have their seatbelts on. I was definately shaken. I couldn't help but think of everything that didn't go wrong but very easily could have. Someone stopped after a few minutes and helped me get the jeep out of the mud and snow and ice and freezing rain. Needless to say I didn't drive anywhere today. But I need to drive back to Oxford tomorrow, sooooo.... we'll see how I hold up. I don't feel like posting any more on the subject, because I'm still pretty shaken, but if anyone calls to chat or IMs me I'll try to talk more. No guarantees. Really going to depend on how busy I am and my state of mind.

Hmm, what else. I'm getting rejection letters right now. Not putting me in the best of moods.

We've had a couple inches of snow, and a LOT of ice. The poor dog can't even go outside anymore - she can't keep a grip on the ice. Poor thing keeps falling flat on her face. Dad had to bring her back in the house earlier - carrying a 70 pound dog is no easy task when walking on ice. Tomorrow is supposed to have freezing fog. >.<

Flower Hall, pretty clouds, and the moon:

Pretty clouds in front of Millett:




More pretty clouds in front of Millett. So much for my idea to get dinner, eh? Yeah, I got a bit sidetracked:




Flower Hall, again:




Lunar Eclipse - before the main event. Probably 45 minutes before it's peak:




The real deal people (Yes, the entire eclipse is there.):




Miami Property off-campus:




Part of a farm... that is no longer there... off Miami's campus (and right across the street from the picture above):




Alexander Hamilton:




One of the twins... times three?:




Me and my jeep. After going off-roading. In the ditch. On the Fox Highway. See? Pretty and muddy. I love muddy jeeps. I've been ordered to send it through the car wash before I return to school, however. I have lots of pretty muddy jeep pictures, for anyone interested. Close up, far away, more of my beautiful face, etc. I love my jeep. Even when it doesn't stay on the road. And could have easily killed me. Or someone else. Or some of the signs.




Muddy jeep window. Wet, cold, and highly-bundled up girl taking pictures. Namely, me:




Khan, being innocent and cute:




Jasmine, being ticked off like usual:




Darling Molly, with the grey chin and the current fear of ice:




Ice on the evergreen:




Ice covering the thorns and berries of the evil thorny devil. Much less dangerous in this state, however:




Some ornamental grasses:




Someone else's plant. But pretty with the ice:




Birdhouse in the garden:




Outside, with the ice and snow and pretty reflections:




Outside, again:



Hope you enjoyed the show. ;) Come back next time for more interesting tales.

PS. My thumb really really hurts. And there's no way to make it feel better. :(

Dance Lifts and Graduate Schools

So what do all these have in common? Erm... that's my life right now.

Grad school first. I have completely applied to, so far:

1. Duke
2. University of North Carolina
3. Michigan State University
4. Ohio State University
5. University of Michigan

I am *almost* done with:

1. University of Maryland

Which means up next is:

1. University of Virgina (Dec 10)
2. University of Tennessee (Dec 31)
3. Indiana University (Jan 2)
4. Miami University (Jan 10)
5. University of Maine (Jan 15)
6. University of Nebraska (Jan 15)

And then here are the deadline outliers:

1. University of Cincinnati (May 1)
2. University of Louisville (July 20.... but April 1 for fellowship applications? What?)

So once I keep completing essays, I'll be good to go. That's what's catching me up. They all want different essays, different number of essays, etc. So they all have to be informationally different. If informationally is even a word. Act like it is, for the sake of conversation.

I also worked on these damn things all during break. What a fun break.

Dance class!

We tried doing lifts LAST Monday, but there were more girls than guys interested. And I didn't get to try any lifts.

Well, today I did. And I hurt! The boys tried. They really did. But I kicked someone in the head because he didn't duck my feet (apparently I can hyperextend my back... and it's not my fault apparently, but I feel bad. I didn't want to hit him in the head. He's a nice boy. Other people I might not have minded as much.) I stepped on feet because they didn't put me down well. I fell several times, including right on my hipbone. I pulled several muscles in my upper back trying to keep from hurting them and to stay in position. We'll all be sore tomorrow.

It also doesn't help that, unlike my skating dance partners, I don't have much trust in these guys. They're not my boyfriends. They're not even good friends. Or instructors. So I don't trust them blindly NOT to drop me, so that makes me tenser than I should be, which means I screw up more. And these guys have never lifted a girl until last week, or for some, like my second partner, today.

But needless to say, even when I took a few hard falls on the gym floor, they DID help break the fall and in some cases came down with me. Their backs will hurt. My back, shoulders, arms, and hip all hurt. We all hurt.

HOWEVER. It was fun. Not as fun as when my dance partner used to twirl me above his head. (I miss Sean. He was amazing. Just amazing. And a good dancer.) And there wasn't much trust or confidence. But it was fun. Very very very fun.

We laughed a lot.

There was a LOT of apologizing. A lot of that going around.

More apologizing.

Some actual completions of flips, spins, and twirls. That didn't hurt. And that they weren't digging their fingers into my hip instead of using their arms. And I didn't fall. And I didn't twist anything. And I landed on balance.

And then. Then... it was really really cool. Amazingly so. Flips are fun... when everything works and no one is falling.

Rawrg.

Yes. Rawrg.

So, it may be a trick, but now that I'm at home, guess what. My wired internet is back. Now, it's said that at Miami too. But then it disappears. This... has been stable for several hours. Rawrg. I want stable internet at Miami, too!

I have a crapload to do. Primarily, application crap. I hate applications. I hated them in high school, and I hate them even more now, esp. when my grades are worse than they were in HS. And so are my scores. I get stupider the more schooling I have, I swear. But I'm pretty freaked out by this whole ordeal. And don't anyone tell me 'of course you'll get in somewhere'. I'm tired of hearing it. I want to gripe and complain. And no, 'of course' is not an 'of course'. Grad school is not equal to under grad school. No, my grades and scores are not bad. But neither are they good. IN COMPARISON to what grad schools desire, are looking for, and can get. I am really just hoping SOMEONE of value will both take me and pay for me to work for them.

I wish someone had told me in high school to go to a easy school, like UC, for undergrad. Then I would have gotten A's, had time to do nothing while half my class sat in jail, and I'd be like a golden child for these schools. But no, I go to Miami. Where stuff is stupidly hard. For no good reason. Like multiple guess and random identifications on history exams. WHY would you do that for a history class? You WRITE in history. You don't do particulars. You do connections and themes and analyzing crap. You don't write about random dude on page 468 of book XLDSR for a page on an in class exam. Seriously. That ain't history, y'all. That just plain stupid, hear me?

Yeah. So. Sleep now. Home for 'break'. Let's see if I get one.

Random Snippets

It's hard to believe that it's the middle of September already. On Monday I'll be 22. Geez, I'm old. And you know, I'm really not looking forward to my birthday. I'm actually rather unhappy and depressed about it. I feel like I've done nothing in the last year, and that I'm old and lost and unable to get anywhere in life. So, happy birthday to me, yay.

I'm watching LOTR and relaxing. Kevin, my RD, gave me his packet on IU's grad school from when he was looking at schools. That made me happy. He's more than willing to help me out on this, which is nice. I'm putting up posters, which I still haven't gotten around to after four weeks here.

George is doing well. He's gotten more gerbilish, so bleh to that. But he's still adorable. And loves the TV. Or hates it. I'm not sure which. Either way, he comes out to watch whenever it's on. Classes are going decently well. Horseback and I aren't getting along. Sinuses and I aren't either. But my room has maintained a state of cleanliness all semester thus far. It's even organized. Mostly.

I am in a constant state of depression and distress when it comes to the GREs and studying for them, thinking about them, and so forth. I just want to sit down and cry.

Classics department cookout tomorrow afternoon. Celtic festival down on the Ohio Saturday. Birthday meal on Sunday, then back on campus for a meeting at 8 for the Classics club. Maybe. Depends on when I leave home.

And that's all.

Ahhh Spring!

So excited. Only one more paper to go, then a take home final, a final before finals, and one final during finals week. ^_^ I have AF classes next semester, so I can continue to hanging out with some of the coolest people I know.

Today NROTC had their summer whites on. *purr* Oh, I DO love a man in uniform! I like the black dress uniforms better, however.

Funny story. There were presentations today in class. THey're supposed to wear white shorts so you can't you know, see their underwear under the white summer-weight pants. So one of the three presenters, today, had on red and white striped boxers under their uniform. >.< It was kinda hard to take his presentation seriously - the guys around me and I couldn't help but snicker the entire time. Seriously, red and white stripes? -shakes head- It was awesome. Then one of the girls' cell phones kept going off, making it even more amusing. She was sitting right next to the XO (Commander Rein). Hilarious. One of the presenters just stopped, and very father-like, "Would you like me to stop my presentation so you may answer your phone?" She turned soooo red. It's been a great day so far.

VT. I'm glad I didn't decide to go there... -shudder- Last year, snipers. This year, 33 dead. Glad I listened to my gut instinct NOT TO GO TO VT. So scary...

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/17/vtech.shooting/index.html for the latest updates. IE, for people like Steph who may not have gotten the memo. ;)

A very brief update

Finally over the flu. Somewhat. Still tired all the time, and achy. Was in the ER, am now out of the ER. Obviously. Unable to go to any classes two weeks ago due to the stupid flu. Spent my entire spring break trying to get over the flu. Still not really over, but at least no longer infected. Just trying to recooperate from throwing up several times a day, coughing about four times every three minutes (yes, someone made a point to count), having a fever and being unable to sit up. Slept most of break. Now trying to frantically finish a paper due tomorrow (rough draft, thankfully), figure out graduation (Graduate early? Study abroad second semester? What to do with only needing 11 hours to graduate after summer?), figure out scheduling, figure out what session of the GRE classes I want to take, figure out HOW TO SUCCEED on the stupid GRE, vacation to CA, finish my capstone, get started and finish my four other papers, and so forth. Vaugely busy. And still, yes, sick and anemic. Cuz after being sick for two weeks and being unable to really eat during that time (and keep it in if i did eat), needless to say my I couldn't take iron and ZOOF there went what little control I had over my anemia, which is back in the bowels of despair. And I'm absolutely exhausted, anemic, and sick. Go me!

Okay that's my update.

PS. Leigh you suck, making me get an LJ. :-P I'll get to it later.

PPS. MSN hates me. Currently isn't working. Catch me on AIM - even if I have an away message up.

Woah long time!

Hey y'all, been a while. Been busy with classes and the like. Been getting a lot of grief from professors and faculty about wanting to go to grad school, which is making me dig my heels in deeper. Blah. And I need to pay lacrosse peoples. Grr. Been rather depressed and frustrated lately, with different people and things going on in my life. Some of you know what I'm talking about (well, probably just Mike), others of you really... don't. Maybe cuz Mike's the only one who's taken time to talk with me lately. Thank the stars for our Tues/Thurs lunches. They're keeping me sane.

Below, if anyone's interested, is a rant I just had on my message board for ethics class. Feel free to respond with your own opionions or discussions - just no attacks please. Either on my views or on others. Play nice peoples.

----------------------------------------

So I believe the question for this forum is about whether or not we feel there is or is not a higher moral standard for military personnel, and perhaps whether or not there should be. If I'm completely mistaken and heard that wrong... oh well, it's an interesting topic anyways.


I believe that whether for good or for bad, the American population has the belief that their soldiers should have a higher moral standard than the rest of the Americans. It has come from diplomacy issues and international affairs, and how we are portrayed abroad and with our neighboring nations. The public has come to believe that the people overseas in, for example, Iraq, are the face of Americans nationwide and therefore must put their best foot forward and look and act better than 'typical' Americans. We have come to see soldiers as 'bad' people for making human mistakes. Yes, there are several instances lately where the 'bad' people were most definitely bad people. But other times, there have been simply human mistakes which have been made and the media made a big deal over it due to the fact that soldiers are such visible players in this huge chess game. There the ones that are the most visible and most directly in the media spotlight. From there, the media makes a big fuss if someone is simply human and isn't immortally perfect. No one's perfect. (Sorry guys. I hate to dash some of your hopes.)

Personally I believe that although military personnel have more rules and regulations to follow, and I think for good reason, to demand that they have a higher 'moral' standard is nonsense. You can follow rules without being moral, you can be moral and not follow rules. The good people will be good people with or without the military telling them to be perfect. The unmoral people can follow orders while still not being moral people. As hard as the military can sometimes try, it can't change everything a person learned for the first 18-20 years of their life from friends and family. True people can change, but the majority of people won't change that much, overall.

I think that the course of time has made it difficult for us to understand the foundations our military was based off of: a militia. Simple, every day people. Farmers, carpenters, coopers, lawyers, rebels. Common folk. People could just pick up arms, work together, and fight. There was none of this huge 'higher moral for the military people' because the 'military people' were your next door neighbors who had jobs other than fighting, unless you count the drunks at the pubs.... But our military was based off of common people fighting for a common ideal. Our military now, is just American citizens volunteering their lives to fight for a common ideal. Has it really changed so much? Sure, the military personnel are the people in uniform overseas (and at home, too) that people can pick out of a crowd immediately. Yeah, they need good morals, but not necessarily 'better' or 'higher' morals. Perhaps they have simply kept the same standards from ages past, and the American people have simply degraded in their morals? Could that be the rift between civilian and military? That maybe the 'common' person has lower morals than we used to?

This separation of morals, as it gets ingrained into society, just pushes the military and American populous farther apart. No one side has better or higher moral standards than the other, when it comes down to it. It's just stressed more in the military environment. It's just one more thing to push the military and populous farther apart. I walked into one of my first naval science classes last year and got this look and muted whispers of "Geez, look, it's a civilian". Two years and seven navy classes later (and three AF classes), you know what I've found? There's really no difference. Even when visiting officers drop by, or the officers teaching the classes, or the Midshipmen or Cadets, there's really no huge difference except a greater grasp of government knowledge. I'm no more or less moral than any of the other people here. I've really not seen any Midshipmen or Cadets or officers that seem to have a 'higher moral standard' than every other person I know. They drink underage just as much as other college students. They probably cheat just as much as other college students too - remember that statistic for doctors? Officers like to play pranks just as much as other adults. They have the same trouble and worries as well. They can make bad decisions. So where's the higher moral standard? Heck, where's the different moral standard?

I don't think there is a higher moral standard for military personnel, nor should there be. I believe that if someone does something wrong, they should be punished. Abu Ghraib and the rape cases - yeah, you know, that was stupid and they need to be punished. But on the same note, I don't care if they're military or not. I'd say that prison guards and rapists that aren't in the military need just as harsh a punishment. If the military is the face of the government, they need to stick to good morals, I agree. But if people in other countries are really that interested in seeing what Americans are like, they just need to go online. There are murders and rapes every day. People are letting immigrants, although illegal, to die in the back of an unheated truck and die of overheating and dehydration. Vice President Cheney shoots campaign contributors on quail hunts...

Military people are just normal people with a different profession than other people. When they're home they're just as much a citizen as I am. When they retire, they're citizens again. I think that the 'higher moral standard' has been emphasized by the media, and nothing more.