Kayaks and the Universe

Currently looking at used kayaks, seeing if anything is interesting at all. Well, there are several that are interesting. All of which are expensive. Blah. One that I really like is only like 6.5' long. Compared to the usual 14-18 feet kayaks. Very easy rollover, which I don't care for, but short. And therefore, easier for me to manage. Also $650. Bleh. Had another that was like 7' something, and 525. Also kinda pricy. For me at least. -sigh- And then I'd have to figure out where to put it, and have a kayak partner, and -siiiigh-.

Went to the wonderful health center yesterday. (Is it sad that they're on my speed dial?) Talked to a wonderful lady who actually listened. She then referred me to someone else that she thinks can do a better job, and knows more about what we think it is. Should be... enlightening. And if that doesn't work, there's someone else at the health center I might go see. Either way, it sounds like more blood tests. I'm going to get used to the needle sooner or later.

Watched Eragon last night. Such a bad movie - I love it.

It was supposed to rain today. A drizzle does not satisfy me. Pleh.

So...

My last post was less than informative, I know.

I've been incredibly depressed lately. I'd say I don't know why, but I do. I'm stressed and I'm depressed. What a mix, eh? And before you can ask if you can help, no, you can't. So don't ask. And I don't really want to talk about it. I need to talk with mom and dad I think, but no one else can really do much, nor am I too willing to discuss much of it. Steph can probably drag some information out of me, if she's lucky, but she's probably the only one around anymore who can do that and get it. No offense to everyone else, just she was an awesome roomie and still an awesome friend and she's just that good. But if I've seemed a little out of it, it's not you. I'm just really fighting a lot of inner depression right now and considering seeing a counselor. Again. Didn't we go through this last year? Just different reasons.

Other news. I'm still really sad and hurt that Nic doesn't respond to me. (I think I can vent here, since everyone who reads this (like, all four of you) has heard my whining about her not responding, and I don't think she reads this anymore anyways. She's blocked me everywhere else it seems... or ignores me... one or the other...) Sent yet another email to her asking for SOME response. So, first letter, no response for almost two months. A couple IMs don't seem to go through. Second letter, no response. Phone, off or I'm blocked. Not sure which. But why leave a message if she doesn't even respond to emails? Probably not helping my depression at all, because I miss talking to her, laughing with her, roleplaying with her, griping about tests with her. Hell, she was my friend. I'd like to think she still is, but she's made it quite clear that, even if I'd like to think that, I'm *definitely* not in her life anymore. She's made sure of that. So I'm not sure which hurts more, her apparently not wanting to be friends anymore, after years of being so, or her completely ignoring me and blocking me from everything. I really don't think this is helping my depression either. At all. There went the only other person besides Steph who actually *understood* and didn't just listen. I just wish she'd get over her pride and tell me SOMETHING, even if it's just 'you suck'. I don't know why, when she always wanted to talk things out, why she won't talk this out. I just don't get it. I know most of you said its not worth your time stressing over, but I do. I always have.


Happier news. Think I got to get a picture of the raccoon this evening. Spent about two hours in the nature preserve tonight. Very good for the soul. Watched the ROTC marines do... whatever ROTC marines do. Not too sure. But they were doing it well. Tonight's animal tally: 1 raccoon, 4 deer, 12 vultures, 1 woodpecker, and 8 idiotic students going down the creek in rafts. This is probably a huge reason as to why the beavers didn't come out tonight.

Next weeks items: Monday - Paper due, project/presentation over Perelieu due. Tuesday - Project/presentation over Kent State Massacre due. Wednesday - .... nothing yet..... Thursday - Project/presentation over War of Mexican Independence due. Friday - .... home? Not sure yet. But it's Friday. Nuff said.


Alright, well I'm going to clean my room, maybe that will cut down some of the stress and depression. Put in a movie as I work. Lots and lots to do, and no energy to do it! IM me or call me to talk, I'll be around. Sooner or later. :)

Nature Reserve

Yesterday I saw two beavers and a deer. Today, a sleepy raccoon and a beaver. And rain. Lots of rain. And I have pics, at Steph's request. :)

Ghosts

Steph will understand.

I'm freaking out right now. I was stupid and looked at SciFi to see what was on. Happened to be Ghost Hunter. I hate the supernatural and ghost stuff, but I'm hooked and freaking out at the same time. I hate it but can't stop watching. And I'm remembering freshman year when she played all those stupid online things that freaked me out to no end. Cept this time I can't blame her. AND have no one to get the creepies out of my head.


On a different note.

Went walking today. Well ran tons of errands. Walked all over campus. Went to the CAS department, made sure my DARS was good to go. Then talked to some freshies about scheduling ideas. Then talked to Prof Cayton about my summer program. Then went to the med center to get bills and bloodwork results. Then went to the study abroad office, was there for about two hours talking to advisors and looking up info. Then sat on some stairs and watched people walk in front of cars, jeeps almost hit buses, buses almost hit motorcyclists, bikers almost hitting walkers, walkers really not giving a damn, girls who need to wear more clothes, guys who I wouldn't mind if they weren't wearing as many clothes, etc. Jordan dropped by and talked for a while, then went walking around campus for about another hour before coming back. I miss my Steph. This was her type of day. :)


PS. The squirrels are in a bad mood again. Yelling at me and throwing stuff at random passerbys. Sweetness.

A very brief update

Finally over the flu. Somewhat. Still tired all the time, and achy. Was in the ER, am now out of the ER. Obviously. Unable to go to any classes two weeks ago due to the stupid flu. Spent my entire spring break trying to get over the flu. Still not really over, but at least no longer infected. Just trying to recooperate from throwing up several times a day, coughing about four times every three minutes (yes, someone made a point to count), having a fever and being unable to sit up. Slept most of break. Now trying to frantically finish a paper due tomorrow (rough draft, thankfully), figure out graduation (Graduate early? Study abroad second semester? What to do with only needing 11 hours to graduate after summer?), figure out scheduling, figure out what session of the GRE classes I want to take, figure out HOW TO SUCCEED on the stupid GRE, vacation to CA, finish my capstone, get started and finish my four other papers, and so forth. Vaugely busy. And still, yes, sick and anemic. Cuz after being sick for two weeks and being unable to really eat during that time (and keep it in if i did eat), needless to say my I couldn't take iron and ZOOF there went what little control I had over my anemia, which is back in the bowels of despair. And I'm absolutely exhausted, anemic, and sick. Go me!

Okay that's my update.

PS. Leigh you suck, making me get an LJ. :-P I'll get to it later.

PPS. MSN hates me. Currently isn't working. Catch me on AIM - even if I have an away message up.

Sicker than a dog

So, haven't been feeling tops last few days. But it really hit me last night. Apparently I have what's going around campus - a weird strain of the flu. Joy. Just what I need during midterms.

AHHH!

I DID IT! I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT!!!!! I got it! AHHH!!!! *so happy*

(for more information please IM or call. Too excited to type it all out here.)

Been a while, no?

Eh well. Almost all of you know what's been going on, and that's good enough. So I don't really know why I'm posting this. THe only person that doesn't know what's going on is refusing to talk to me (court's in her hands now, then again, most of you knew that too). So yeah. Right now: sick as hell, spent 7 hours in a parking lot because my car died yesterday, spent about 18 hours in Lenscrafters over the last two weekends, unable to read or see, and wishing someone got over her own damn pride and would talk to me.

Guess she answered my questions though. Like, where I stand. Apparently nowhere.

Thanks Steph, Leigh, Mike, Jordan, Ben M., Ben H., etc... nice to have people to listen and talk to.




Why is someone shooting rockets from right above my room.... I know it's right above my room cuz it's loud, smokey, and I can see the smoke coming from the room down to mine, and it smells like fireworks smoke... ich. I don't want my room blown up.

Oh, and dad got me some cute teddies for V-day. :D

Okay, well, I'll talk to most of you soon. As always, you can catch me online.

Muahahahaha

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